Making Peace With the Past
I haven’t written a blog post in a while. I started writing one, but didn’t have the mojo to finish. I’ve been in a funk, rut, whatever you want to call the place in life where you feel like you can’t handle one more thing or you will snap. That’s where I’ve been.
Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my life, the love, and all the wonderful things I get to experience, but I added more and more to my responsibilities, and it took over my peace.
What You Do in the Shadows is Who You Are
My To-Do list is vast, and I work on it every day, getting closer to attaining my goals. Big dreams? Yep. And I won’t ever stop working on them. That’s what we must do if we want to achieve our dreams. Keep doing the work, and it will pay off. Then who we are will be in the light.
Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows
What we give our attention to is what comes to fruition. I let a lot of time go by and wish things had happened sooner, but everything happens when it’s meant to happen. I chose to do other things I thought were more important in the moment, rather than focusing on my goals. Things like working a job, keeping the house clean, tending the yard, doing projects, shopping, organizing, etc. I put everything in front of what mattered most to me, and apparently, I’ve been okay with that for years.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
Why do we think it’s okay to put off living the life we desire? Seriously, think about it. Why are we okay to take care of everything else going on except what we say we love and really want to do?
I don’t think it’s all because of fear. Yes, fear does play a role, especially if you are trying for the big stuff. The higher the goal, the harder the fall if it doesn’t work out. Still, I don’t think that’s all of it.
Every Action Has a Reaction
Something happened to us when we were children. As kids, we absorbed everything around us. At least for me, that’s how it was. I was a curious kid, full of nervous energy and worry. That was my experience, not everyone was like that. But all children learn what they live, regardless of how curious someone is.
So what exactly happens?
We develop an operating system, as I’ve written before. All of our experiences from the day we were born have etched themselves into our minds. We are molded like clay. We form our opinions and how we react to life based on what we learned as children. That’s how it is. Our minds (inner world) develop in response to our outer world.
By the time we’re adults, our default program has gotten really strong. This is why addictions, depression, and anxiety are difficult to heal from. And sure, we can heal. Our minds and bodies are amazing. But it takes a positive mindset to do so.
Look Inside For the Answers
There are so many of us adults with our inner child screaming for our attention. This comes out in sickness, pain, irritability, anger, resentment, and every other bad thing that happens to us. Our inner child is begging to be listened to and acknowledged, but we keep ignoring it because we think it’s not important or relevant. Sadly, I know some folks think this is hogwash. Those same folks must be pretty hurt not to want to face the pain. There’s probably so much pain that they wouldn’t know where to start.
Start Where You Are
When we cultivate the ability to stay in the present moment, we have control over every experience. Given that, to heal our inner child, we need to feel the pain.
Breathing, focusing on the breath, allows us to stay in the moment.
It’s okay. You can face anything. You are strong enough. We think we’re going to break, but we don’t. Adversity makes us stronger. Give yourself the credit you deserve. And please go easy on yourself. The world will make life more difficult if you let it. Lighten up. Breathe.
Start a practice of closing your eyes for just a few moments and taking deep breaths.
✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺
✺ Breathe in four counts. Hold at the top for eight counts and then slowly release the breath for eight counts. ✺
✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺✺
Do this slowly and methodically, and feel what it feels like to breathe in the air and release it.
I’m telling you, within moments, your body will begin to relax, just by breathing in and out. There’s no magic. Our bodies feel better with more oxygen with deeper breaths. And exhaling carbon dioxide removes toxins and does many other good things for us.
The more you do it, the more you’ll want to do it and feel its soothing effects.
Ask the Question
Once you are in a relaxed state from slow, deep breathing, close your eyes and see yourself as a child. What are you feeling in that moment? If it’s too painful, stop. You might need to see a therapist to work through a painful past. If you can handle whatever you see, stay with yourself as a child, with your eyes closed.
Ask your child self, “What do I need to do to make my life better?”
Take a few moments to listen. Really listen. Close out anything else going on around you. Focus on the answer.
If you don’t hear anything, that’s okay. It just means you’re not fully connected to your inner child. It might take a few times to make the connection. Don’t give up. You’re worth the answer.
We all separate from our inner child because we think we have to. Life, responsibilities, worry, stress, that’s no place for us to be concerned with our inner child. There are many more pressing things to spend our valuable time on.
I beg to differ.
Everything we do now, as adults, is directly connected to our inner child. Who we are is based on what we’ve learned as children.
You may be surprised by what you find out when asking that question.
The Answer Is Peace
Whatever you can gather from connecting to your inner child is going to help you.
Even if it’s pain that you feel, pain can heal once it’s recognized. It’s the stuffed-down pain that keeps us sick (physically and emotionally). Again, working with a licensed therapist is helpful if the pain is overwhelming. Even talking to a trusted ally can be therapeutic, but a licensed professional therapist may be warranted for short-term help if it’s too heavy to bear.
This is not living in the past. This is making peace with your past. Once we have made peace with our past, we can relax and let life flow rather than fight it every step of the way (hand up: that’s been me for a very long time).
And guess what happens when we relax? We heal. We can focus better. Our minds think more rationally. We can respond instead of react to life.
We are all dealing with something. No one is immuned to life. While we’re here, why not make the most of what we have instead of letting a happy life just pass us by, only to feel regret and resentment?
Thank you for reading this. Please comment on how you’re making peace with your life.
To Peace,
Francesca 
© 2026 FrancescaME | All rights reserved.
NO AI TRAINING: Any use of this publication to “train” generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies to generate text is expressly prohibited. The author reserves all rights to license uses of this work for generative AI training and development of machine learning language models.
*DISCLAIMER: FrancescaME is not a therapist or doctor, and any information shared is from personal experience, learning, and research.
If you’re suffering, please consult a mental health therapist for help. Just as our bodies need to see a doctor when we’re not well, our minds need care, too.
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