I think it’s safe to say we all want to minimize feeling pain, and we are good at diverting our attention elsewhere. Moving pictures were a welcome distraction for people who lived through world wars and the Great Depression. Today, we have so many things to take our attention. With all the entertainment options, we can avoid thinking of what ails us.

 

I love watching This Old House. I have learned so much about building and remodeling houses, such as the latest HVAC systems available (the geothermal heat pump system seems like a good heating/cooling source). And I find the rough plumbing and carpentry fascinating.  I now know what a stringer and riser are, and what a coupling is. This Old House is about fixing up a house. The episode I watched was filmed in Nashville. And because the cast was in Nashville, they went to the Grand Ole Opry House.

 

I was eating breakfast and watching the latest recorded episode when Jenn, the show’s landscaper, met Trisha Yearwood. Jenn had asked Trisha when she knew she wanted to sing. Trisha answered that she had known she wanted to sing since she was five and had loved to sing ever since. Well, it affected me emotionally.

With haste, I shut the TV off. Something I saw caused me to have this reaction. It was a pain from deep within me, and I was unable to shut it off. I cried. What was it that had such power over me?

Pain.

Pain that needed me.

The pain I had shoved down, hoping it would stay there and go away.

Hearing Trisha Yearwood talk about her singing made me realize how much I had been denying myself the joy of doing the same thing. (I’m not insinuating the same level of success as Trisha, but singing and recording my songs with talented musicians as she does, as I have done before.) Back then, I was an inexperienced front person and didn’t have a teacher or mentor to show me the ropes (and YouTube wasn’t around yet). Seeing Trish on This Old House felt like that dream was a little too little, too late.

What causes us the most pain is what we need to be addressing. I learned that for sure.

What are our bodies telling us?

Those aches and pains, headaches, or digestive discomfort are all trying to get our attention. Our bodies keep a record of how we are feeling. We can hide inside a television drama or get lost in a video game, but until we get to the core of our pain, we will keep feeling the manifestations in our bodies.

For me I have acid reflux and don’t sleep well. I know what my pain is. I’ve denied myself the joy of living happily for so many years and feel like it’s catch-up time. I want to be at peace.

Being mindful helps.

I’m constantly reflecting on my choices nowadays, being mindful, and always working towards evolving into the best version of myself. Now, I realize that the only way for me to be happy is to be unapologetically and proudly myself. Bravo to all those out there living authentically because that’s where peace of mind resides.

We can be calm and confident just by addressing our pains and doing something to rectify them. It may not be the way we were born or raised that led us on this path, but doing something to create joy in our lives helped us get here.

Shut out the noise.

It’s the successful artist who was able to shut down the voices that told him to be more responsible and get a “real” job. It’s the teacher who defied all odds of getting a full-time job in the school district of her choice because she wouldn’t give up applying, networking, and making it happen. Or the woman who wanted a child and didn’t have a guy in her life, and went against all sorts of scrutiny from family and friends, and did what she knew would bring her joy by having a baby on her own.

I could go on and on with examples, but you get the gist – we need to work for what we want AND shut out the noise that causes us pain.

I know we all have our stuff. Each one of us has a past, some good, some not so good, but it’s who we are. The measure of a good life is living with the past, knowing it is only our foundation, not who we are as a whole. If there is pain associated with the past, we need to figure out how we can heal it.

We need to acknowledge the pain to let it go.

I’ve worked hard on healing my pain. I write these blogs because I know what it’s like to deal with pain, but we have to go through it to get to the other side. And going through it is feeling it, not denying it doesn’t exist. We cannot pretend we’re okay and minimize it because it will keep coming out in our lives. Address the pain, even if it conjures up anger or resentment for a situation or person from the past that is no longer part of you; you can still address it and be free of the pain.

Get it out!

I write, which helps me get stuff out, but you can scream into your pillow or walk into the woods and kick a tree (not too hard so you don’t cause yourself more pain) or whatever will help you expel it; you need to feel it to get rid of it.  Your pain needs you to acknowledge it. It doesn’t make you weak or that there’s something wrong with you to feel it. Instead, that makes you strong and courageous. Many go through life on autopilot, never reaching a level of consciousness where they allow themselves to feel the pain in order to heal it and live a happy life.

I’ve been able to feel all the pain I’ve kept locked up and release it.  Though I’m strong enough now to deal with it, that took years of work on myself. But that’s me. For someone else, it might not take that long. Don’t give up on your happiness. Have faith.

Thank you for reading this. I sincerely hope that I have offered some solutions for a happy life.

To Taking Care of Your Pain,

Francesca

 

Created by a human for humans.

2024 – Francesca M.E. – All Rights Reserved.