The Answers Will Come When You Ask the Right Questions
It’s been a few challenging weeks since my father had a stroke and is recovering in the hospital. All engines stopped, like what a submarine does while sitting still below the ocean’s surface. And that’s okay. Life happens. It’s up to us how we perceive its challenges.
Today, something sparked in me that made me feel at peace. I couldn’t grasp that notion while my father was lying in a hospital bed doing the best that he could. Was I doing the best that I could? I don’t think so. Even though I know logically that we can’t stop living or taking care of ourselves when a loved one is facing a health crisis, I got lost in the anxiety of it all. I’m sure others have felt the same way. It’s hard not to.
I had been working on developing the habit of meditating for 5 minutes daily, and that went out the door, not feeling able to sit still for that amount of time and quiet my mind. I tried to do it over the weekend, but I only got three minutes in before the neighbor turned on his weed whacker. No amount of self-discipline could tune that out. Still, I won’t give up on that practice.
It’s just been on the back burner.
Even writing has been difficult. I’d start a blog post and not be able to finish. And that is okay.
But today, I am determined to complete this and share it. It’s an idea I think we all could be receptive to, regardless of what’s going on in our lives.
If you feel stuck and can’t seem to move, ask yourself why.
It’s that simple. I know my reason, but what about you?
When something tragic happens, we have only so much bandwidth to function at an okay level. We’re not ourselves; things slip, emotions flare; we’re only human, and our brains can only handle so much.
However, even in the midst of a tragic or sad situation, we must take care of ourselves, too. That means sticking to routines, following plans, moving in any way we can.
I know for me, I can slip into a caretaker role very easily. It’s in my nature to care and respond to someone else’s pain or life situation. That’s why I excel at writing these blog posts. I feel deeply and think even deeper. It’s not that I want to fix the world. I know if I can do something to make a situation better for someone that I love or care about, I’m going to do it. Plus, I’m one of those people who thinks, “How would I want to be treated in this situation?” and do that.
I know we’re only on this earth for a short while, and giving of ourselves to others is a good thing, but we can’t sacrifice our happiness or peace. Once we take care of ourselves, we’re able to take care of someone else.
If you feel angry, ask yourself why.
Knowing the answer will help you diffuse it, deal with it, accept it, and let it go.
If you feel hopeless, ask yourself why.
The answer may illuminate fears that have been causing you to feel that way. Fear is a nasty by-product of what another person believes to be true, not the truth. The news in print and on television banks on fear to keep people coming back for more. Fear is addictive and gives us an excuse not to do anything productive. I can’t walk down that street. What if there’s a dog loose? Fear is sneaky and seems so important. It’s not, and we need to squash it to feel better about life.
If you feel betrayed, ask yourself why you think that.
A lot of the time, when we feel betrayed, it’s because we put too much stock in what someone else does. Feeling betrayed is usually about someone else’s behavior unless we betray ourselves. If that’s the case, there is an easy remedy. Learn to love yourself, and you will never accept any behavior that isn’t respectful, loving, or kind. I know it’s challenging to love ourselves if we haven’t been doing that, but it’s so important. We are so worthy of being loved, but we must first give it to ourselves to receive it from anyone else.
If you feel disappointed, ask yourself why.
The answer to this question determines where you’ve been lacking in taking care of yourself in your life. We feel disappointment when we don’t get what we want. But when you ask yourself why you feel disappointed, I’ll wager you’ll discover that what you wanted wasn’t what you needed.
We can disappoint ourselves by not following our desires, by being afraid to take chances, or by depending on others for our happiness. If we satisfy our most basic needs and strive to understand ourselves and what we need to be happy, we won’t be disappointed. The less we want, the more we appreciate what we have.
Socrates, the ancient philosopher, taught that to “Know thyself” is everything. Asking yourself questions is so helpful for understanding who you are, what you want, and how to be happier. It doesn’t take much time or effort. Do it while driving, taking a shower, or walking the dog. Ponder. Embrace your life because it’s important. You are important. What you feel is important – never discount that – ever!
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope I brought you something to think about that you find helpful. If you have any other questions that you’d like to share, please do. We’re all in this together.
To asking the right questions,
Francesca
Written by a human for humans.
© 2026 FrancescaME | All rights reserved.
If not noted otherwise, photos taken by Francesca M.E.
NO AI TRAINING: Any use of this publication to “train” generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies to generate text is expressly prohibited. The author reserves all rights to license uses of this work for generative AI training and development of machine learning language models.
*DISCLAIMER: FrancescaME is not a therapist or doctor, and any information shared is from personal experience, learning, and research.
If you’re suffering, please consult a mental health therapist for help. Just as our bodies need to see a doctor when we’re not well, our minds need care, too.
Call 988 if you’re in crisis. (Languages: English, Spanish -Available 24 hours)
