I have an incredible banana cream pie recipe. It is decadent and loaded with calories and fat—the yummy kind of dessert. I made it for Mother’s Day this year. While beating the homemade whipped cream, I had to taste it, you know, for quality control. It was delicious.

The next day, the pie called me, beckoning me to eat it. I swear I heard it. So, after I got home from yoga class, I had a spoonful of pie. Yada, Yada, Yada, I ate two pieces, rationalizing it was my breakfast.

Am I proud of that? No! Am I ashamed to write this? No. I wanted to share this because, like everyone else, I’m learning to lighten up on myself. I wanted that pie on Mother’s Day and didn’t have it. That pie was scrumptious, and I regret nothing! Sure, I probably gained a few pounds, but I’ll work at getting rid of them.

I didn’t beat myself up. I acknowledged that I could enjoy that incredible pie once a year. Then, the thought of eating healthier and moving more flooded my mind.

I have this awful habit of criticizing and judging myself way too much and I had to learn something.

Forget about perfect.

Forget about perfect when you can’t fit into your favorite jeans. Acknowledge the fact and promptly switch your thinking to what you do fit in that looks good on you. Then gently address the fact that you can exercise or eat better to lose some weight to fit into the jeans.  Forget what doesn’t work, do what does.

If you can’t love yourself when you’re overweight, loving yourself when you’re at the weight you desire is going to be hollow and always conditional. Thinking we’ll only love ourselves when we are at X weight is unhealthy and cruel to us. We’re doing the best we can with the knowledge, resources, and situation we’re in.

Forget about being perfect when you say or do something, and you think you’re judged, or you don’t speak up because you fear being judged. Let your mind move on quickly after interacting with people. We cannot know or control what someone else is thinking, so why do we waste our precious time and mental energy rehashing an experience that’s over? Let that sentence sink in.

Let’s stop rehashing junk. Leave that to recycling centers and give ourselves a break.

Forget about perfect when you keep stretching yourself way too thin and burn the candle at both ends to have it all.  We over workers, or whatever it’s called when you can’t stop being busy, must learn to take time just to chill, relax, and stop worrying. The Earth will not come to a halt if we stop being so busy. Our families won’t desert us if we partake in some self-indulgent activity like exercising, doing a hobby, or asking for help so that we can enjoy time doing something we love. It’s okay to schedule in “me time.” Your body and mind will thank you (by giving you years of better health.)

Forget about being perfect when you’re striving every single day to achieve a goal and putting so much pressure on yourself to make it happen. Breathe and calm down. Timing happens at the right moment it is supposed to. All we can do is improve, learn, take action, and keep believing in ourselves.

Forget about perfect when you look in the mirror. See yourself for who you are. Look into your eyes and embrace and love what you see. If we have a need to alter ourselves because we believe we’re not good enough, then we need to think about why we’re doing it. If you exercise to get healthier, that’s good, but if you exercise just for the sake of looking good for someone else, then you believe you’re not good enough as yourself. Seek out people who love you for you.

Here’s the thing: perfect exists only in our minds. We determine what is perfect and what is not. Just because someone has the ability to make their home into a symmetrical, organized, relaxing space does not make it perfect. We label it perfect if that is what we perceive as perfect. Someone else might look at the same house and think it’s cold and lacks stuff, and far from what they deem as a perfect home.

The problem exists when we take someone else’s idea of perfection and make it our own. That’s where we feel a sense of lack and not good enough. Most of the time, we try to be perfect because we don’t want to get criticized by someone else. We take what someone (we perceive as more important than us) thinks as gospel, making us believe we are not good enough, yet. That’s exactly what we’re doing when we fall into the trap of perfection for the sake of someone else. We can strive to be the best version of ourselves, but it has to be our choice, not what so and so says or is doing or has or is.

This misrepresentation of perfection stems from our childhood. Children are impressionable and believe most of what they hear or experience. If we were constantly told as a child we weren’t good enough, that just sets us up for being a perfectionist as an adult. Wanting to better ourselves is a good thing. Wanting to be the best version of ourselves is healthy and benefits not only ourselves but others, too. Just don’t get hung up on the details. Go with the flow of life and be a good person.

Thank you for reading this. If there is something I wrote that resonates with you, I’d love to know in the comments below.

To forgetting about perfect,

Francesca

 

Created by a human for humans.

 

© 2024 FrancescaME | All rights reserved.