The career we get paid for is what people see us as. Typing that sentence seemed strange, but we all know it’s true.

Even in retirement, people still form opinions of someone based on how they earned a living as adults. Take Joe, a retired policeman. People still treat Joe like a police officer.

But what if Joe had always loved to make pottery, even as a police officer, doing it in his free time, always wishing he could make a living at it? And then, finally, in retirement, he takes it seriously and begins selling it? Most people who know him will assume that the pottery making is a passing fancy, a fun thing retirees do, not who Joe really is, because he was into law enforcement, not Pottery Barn. However, when he brings in significant money and attention, then all of a sudden, he’s Joe the potter.

I’m not sure if this is a U.S. phenomenon or a global one, but we often judge one another by what we do to earn money. In my life experience, it seems that the more money someone earns (even someone who presents a phony affluent image), the more respect they garner. It’s incredible how many people equate wealth with importance.

The kind, humble, and happy janitor doesn’t seem as important as a mean, arrogant, and miserable lawyer. That lawyer can be a complete jerk, and most people think it’s part of the job and excuse the behavior. The lawyer has respect due to their title.

That janitor might be very well-read, interesting as heck, and live a rich life traveling and experiencing life to the fullest.

My husband and I met a super-friendly guy in St. John, British Virgin Islands. He appeared as if he didn’t have two nickels to rub together and lived on the beach. Seriously. After speaking with him, we learned that he had left a successful career as a lawyer in Philadelphia to live a simple life in the Caribbean, which made him very happy. He owned the restaurant where we were eating. We would not have known his history if we hadn’t spoken to him.

Judging someone by the way they look or by their career is not the whole picture of life. People have lives outside of their jobs. A computer programmer might sing in a band, his true passion, but people might only see him as a computer programmer because that’s his “real” job.

Every job I have had has not been my chosen career, but rather a means to earn a paycheck. People can develop an opinion of someone based on their job, but it may be the farthest from who they truly are.

Lately, I’ve been getting much better at telling people who I am. Only when I share that I sing, write songs, and write books and blogs I don’t get the acknowledgment I’m looking for. I wonder if I were to say I was so and so (someone they recognize as being “important”) and published such and such a book, would I be treated differently?

Maybe too many fibbers tell tall tales of what they do and never really do anything. Then, people like me, who toil and sacrifice every single day working toward the goal of earning a living doing those things I talk about, are mistaken for wannabes, and they don’t give it a second thought. I don’t know.

Perhaps people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don’t have any space left for someone else’s. Or maybe it’s something else.

Let’s try not to judge and take people at their word. We all want acknowledgment for who we are. Listen to others when they speak about their passions and notice how their faces light up. Celebrate those quiet individuals who are terrified of being themselves for fear of judgment and rejection.

Thank you for reading this. I hope everyone you meet sees the real you. We are all unique and deserve to be who we are—all the time.

To being ourselves,

Francesca

 

Created by a human for humans.

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