Update Tonight
My phone updated itself, and I have no idea what was updated. I used to receive a warning to plug the phone in to power or take some action, and I would be informed about the updates. However, it now does this automatically.
I saw the ‘Update Tonight’ notification on my phone and thought I had a choice whether or not to allow it to happen, but it’s already done. It gave me an idea for this post.
How many of us do an update with our attitude, beliefs, and quality of life on a regular basis?
It’s easy to mosey along through life without ever reflecting on how we behave. That’s when most, if not all, of our actions and words are in default mode, from the last update we received years ago. We act in accordance with our programming we received as children.
The kind ones as kids are usually kind as adults. Spoiled children grow up to be spoiled adults. You get the picture. However, if something happens that hurts us, our brains send a signal that we need to address the issue. If we don’t, that’s when we fall into denial, fail to update ourselves, and retreat into a victim mode.
But sometimes, we don’t know how to update ourselves. I didn’t know how for a long time. It took patience, courage, and awareness. Facing reality helps, too.
Negative thinking is the alternative that can happen without our realizing it. It occurs when we aren’t aware of how our words, thoughts, and actions support us. Most of us don’t even think of negative thinking; it’s just our default programming. We live our lives, going from moment to moment, to the best of our ability.
Negative thinking contributes to many problems and issues in our lives.
Complaining (about the weather, traffic, painful shoes, etc.) seems so harmless and commonplace—everyone does it, including me. It’s like a slow leak, though. Slow leaks don’t cause damage at first. It’s when the damage occurs over time that it becomes apparent. It’s the same way with negative thoughts. We don’t think we’re inherently negative, but it’s gradually eroding our happiness.
Gossiping to spread misinformation or hurt someone is used to divert attention away from oneself. However, just because you talk about someone else doesn’t mean you’re gossiping. There is a distinct difference between sharing your experience and the truth and fabricating stories to intentionally harm someone. They are not the same. One is taking responsibility for ourselves, and the other is not.
I’ve read some distasteful words on other content creators’ social media feeds that made me feel sad for some people who have nothing better going on in their lives than to spew harmful stuff. It made me wonder if I had ever come across as that type of person in my blog posts, given that I had written about my experiences.
I must make it perfectly clear that my intention was never to hurt anyone, but to share my experiences, how I updated my life, and offer suggestions so that others might do the same.
Everyone deserves a second chance. We can change careers, relationships, and mindsets for personal growth and happiness. Some folks might not see or understand your growth or have your best interest at heart, so you need to be cautious with whom you bare your soul.
Friends, family, peers, and even our children filter what we share with them through their lens, and some aren’t capable or willing to understand us on a deeper level, therefore making assumptions about us. If they have not updated their programming and we have, it becomes challenging to create healthy, respectful relationships when there is an insufficient connection.
Too many folks judge too quickly before they have all the information. Judging seems to be a way to protect ourselves. We make decisions about someone based on our experiences, beliefs, and values. If they don’t align with us, then we think there’s something wrong with them. That’s a bit presumptuous to think our way is the only right way. I was one of those judgy folks because that was a part of my life experience. Thankfully, I’ve updated that program and am now more open and accepting of differences; however, I don’t tolerate small-mindedness very well.
Those who choose to disrespect others, speak negatively about them to their face or behind their back, or make fun of people in a derogatory way are often trying to mask their feelings about themselves.
Doing an update tonight means examining what’s working well and what’s not and then taking action on the areas that aren’t working.
If you believe you are doing great, that’s wonderful. You are blessed. Your update is working well. I’m writing this for those who feel that something isn’t quite right in their lives.
Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher, said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” That’s a bit harsh.
I believe that the unexamined life keeps us stuck in old patterns and messaging, where we operate on autopilot, and the influences from childhood shape our default programming. And many things can influence our mental health, not just family. Television, friends, or a babysitter who told you there really was a boogieman under the bed can be just as influential to our mindset as adults. That never happened to me, just giving a hypothetical example.
Many of us tend to focus on what we have (or don’t have) in terms of feeling not right without this or that. It is an issue that arises when we feel envious of someone else because they have what we want, or what we think we want. Tip: What others show us is what they want to show us; it’s not the whole story. So, if someone appears to have everything going great in their life and we feel envious of that, that tells our brain that we lack something and aren’t going to be good enough until we have it.
I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever been jealous, but I’ve been envious, and thankfully, I’ve addressed that issue and made the necessary update. Years ago, I ran into an old friend who had success in his life. I knew where he came from and how he grew up, and was impressed by his work ethic and perseverance. I told him I was so happy for him. I genuinely meant it, but he looked at me like I was that weird babysitter telling fibs about monsters under the bed. He seemed leery of someone being genuinely happy for him, rather than being envious or jealous, which is a typical response from many. I’m not sure, I’m just relaying how I felt and what I perceived from him.
Tonight, before you fall asleep, think about how you want to be.
Are you there? If not, create an update to get you there. It’s going to take work. I’m not going to sugarcoat it by implying that all we have to do is say some affirmations or write down our goals fifty times. While these are two great actions that help us change our mindset, we also have to deal with the baggage we’ve been carrying around our entire lives. Until we do that, we’re living a heavy life that can’t allow updates to come through, like a computer or phone with no more storage space left.
My desire for writing these posts is to offer suggestions for a better life. We all have unique life experiences, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to what makes a happy life. However, the same actions (like being mindful of our thoughts) can produce different results for each of us.
Go easy on yourself, too. Life is tough, and the great life we desire to live is even tougher to achieve, but doable with a positive mindset. Do the update tonight. It’ll make things go better.
To updating our lives,
Francesca
