I had a different idea for a blog post, and then this popped into my head, and I have to roll with it. I get these ideas in the middle of the night, after I wake to pee and can’t fall back to sleep. It’s frustrating, but my mind conjures up interesting ideas, so I save them on my phone.

Anyway, I was pondering my life and where I stand. I’ve always been one who genuinely congratulates and celebrates others’ successes. Those who do what they love for a living are an inspiration, and I praise that effort. It made me realize that deep down, I didn’t wholeheartedly believe that I could live my ideal life. I had to change that belief.

 

 

Time to Play Our Messages 

It took me a long time to arrive at my current mindset, where I now believe I can achieve anything with hard work, determination, and a strong belief in myself. We all could. It starts in the mind. The reality around us doesn’t mean anything. Poor people have become millionaires, scaredy cats go on to live a big life unapologetically, and those raised among naysayers can live the life they choose.

It all begins with believing we can.

It’s interesting how people can be so convinced of someone else’s abilities (phony ones, too) and discount their own. When we entertain the idea that we can live the life we choose and doubts creep in, we need to change those thoughts before they paralyze our efforts. Those who think, “Why bother? I don’t have the time, skill, education, whatever to do that,” are merely replaying the same messages they learned from someone else.

 

Lessons are Gifts 

That’s where we have to be tough with ourselves. Every single experience we have gone through has gotten us to who and where we are today. So, if we hadn’t had those joyful or painful events, we wouldn’t have grown and learned the lessons we were meant to learn. Losing someone is awful, but it’s also an opportunity to go inside and figure things out for ourselves. There’s always a lesson for us to learn and become better.

 

‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’  | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’

If it’s not you, then who is it?

‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’  | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’ | ‘*=*’

 

Who is going to do the things only you can do the way you do it?

Who is going to perform the magic trick just like you, or sing just like you, or craft a beautiful object from pieces and parts that only you see go well together?

Who is going to speak with the same conviction or love as you?

Who is going to live your life, when only you know what you want?

Who is better at being you than you?

 

We Know Who We Are

This is a problem, I think, in this country (and possibly the world; I’m not sure, but I’m familiar with the country where I live), where people in power try to dictate to us what and who we are. The school teacher who tells little Raphie he can’t write a sentence might take away the chance for Raphie to enjoy writing or ever consider making a living at it.

He’s going to feel defeated, deflated, and not think much of himself – unless, of course, he has a wonderful family who supports his efforts and encourages him to learn and improve.

Other powers that be are advertisers who show us young, pretty people doing fun things in advertisements, making it seem like if we want to live like that, we’d better buy those jeans or that car. Sometimes it works, sometimes we look the other way. However, we are bombarded with “buy this now, you need it!” messages.

Look at the success of shopping networks. I can honestly say I’ve never bought something from them on a whim or impulse. I’ll watch a little bit of it when a commercial comes on cable TV and think Oh, that’s cool but I won’t want to buy it unless it’s necessary. I have a less-is-more mindset and have adopted a minimalist approach to some degree. Too many choices get overwhelming.

 

Beliefs are Learned Just Like the Alphabet

How about the imbalance of importance when someone sends their kid off to college for a pre-med degree or a Philosophy degree? There’s a difference in beliefs: one is that the pre-med student is going to make a lot of money, and the other student has just sealed their financial fate. It’s a societal belief.

We ought to be seen as individuals with different gifts.

The philosophy student might have a keen mind that can bring about change in the world, while the student who is going to be a doctor might turn out to be an arrogant jerk who makes people feel horrible. Do you see my point?

Think about this. Each one of us has something unique to bring to this world. It’s up to us to celebrate that instead of holding ourselves back, thinking someone else will get what we want, because that’s just the way it is.

 

Swim In Your Lane

No! That’s not the way it is. That’s a negative message passed down throughout our generations who gave up.

We no longer have to believe it.

We don’t have to pay attention to what anyone else tells us we need or what’s right for us. We can be perfectly happy shopping second-hand for quality pieces of clothes, going off the grid, taking better care of ourselves in our own homes, or using baking soda to clean everything. The hype can hook us, but we can be smarter fish and swim away to the current that aligns with our choices.

Do what you want and be who you are. It might feel weird at first to trust ourselves and create new beliefs, but stay the course. Your happy life is waiting for you.

Thank you for reading this. Please share if this resonates with you. I want to know if what I write makes a difference.

To you and me,

Francesca

 

 

Written by a human for humans.

© 2025 FrancescaME | All rights reserved.

NO AI TRAINING: Any use of this publication to “train” generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies to generate text is expressly prohibited. The author reserves all rights to license uses of this work for generative AI training and development of machine learning language models.