Are We With the Right Tribe?
So many things affect how we see ourselves.
Since birth, we have been bombarded with messages that enter our subconscious mind and form how we think, act, and what we believe about ourselves.
For many years, I felt like I was living in a pinball machine, bouncing from one thing to the next, never getting anywhere near where I wanted to be in life. Frustrated, I needed to know why. What was I avoiding that kept me from moving on? I had to take the time to figure it out.
One thing that came up is how I have been with the wrong tribe for most of my life. A tribe, defined by Merriam-Webster, is “a social group composed chiefly of numerous families, clans, or generations having a shared ancestry and language” and also “a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest.”
When we’re born, we are part of our family tribe, and as we grow, we find new tribes to associate with. Hopefully, as we get older, we evolve and find new tribes that better suit our interests and who we are.
I’ve learned that who we allow in our lives is a reflection of what we think about ourselves.
As kids, we have one tribe, then move into another tribe in high school, then find another tribe post-school, and so on and on. The most important thing is to feel like you’re with the right tribe now.
We know we’re with the right tribe when we feel good around the people in it. We don’t feel insecure. We say what we want to say without holding back or rethinking it. There’s an unspoken respect from everyone in it, and we feel like we are enough and we matter.
That is the tribe we should aspire to be in. And since there are so many different people, there are many, many tribes. You probably wouldn’t see an Olympic athlete in a tribe of foodies. Yet, we subject ourselves to being in a tribe that doesn’t support our purpose or our life. When I did the self-work to figure out what I was avoiding, I realized that the reason I continued to be part of the tribes I’d been in was because fear and my insecurities kept me stuck there.
Tribes can give us a sense of security because there are other people in it, and if we need anything, we know we can get that from someone in the tribe. That’s a safety net. But if we feel uncomfortable in that tribe, we need to ask ourselves why we’re still there.
Library of Congress | Ambassador Katsuji Debuchi, daughter,1929
Are you with the right tribe?
- How do you feel when with your tribe? (be honest, dig deep)
- Do you have peace of mind when you think about your tribe?
- Does it feel like you are all growing and evolving together, or are you outgrowing them?
- Do the people you associate with support you and see you for who you are?
- Do you feel confident and good being around them?
- When you leave them, do you feel good about yourself, or do you feel shame or embarrassed, like you were judged?
- Do you receive praise or criticism?
- Are you dealing with a two-way street where you get what you give?
- How do the people in your tribe accept your good news or happiness? How do they deal with your misfortunes or sad events?
- Do you honestly believe that your tribe has your best interests at heart?
Answering these questions honestly will help you discern if you are with the right people. It’s perfectly okay to move on from tribes. We need to give ourselves grace and realize that we are doing the best that we can at any given moment. Taking that pressure off of us helps us pay closer attention to what matters—our happiness. Once we love ourselves, others can love us too, and we’ll attract the right people and circumstances in our lives.
Thank you for reading this. Again, I hope I offered something to think about to help create happy lives. That, to me, is the meaning of life.
To our tribe,
Francesca
Created by a human for humans.
© 2024 FrancescaME | All rights reserved.
