Pay More Attention To Live More

July 3, 2025July 10, 2025FrancescaConnections

I was walking on the beach one early morning. In the distance, a group of people were doing yoga. I felt so calm.

I was thinking about my life, where I am, and where I want to be.

The day before, while walking on the “boardwalk” (now paved), I noticed that the people walking toward me had their heads down, looking as though they lived in a world of grumpiness. I couldn’t believe what I saw. I was grateful to be there at the beach in the beautiful resort town, but it was disheartening to see people looking miserable. I had to do something about that.

Take the Initiative.

I smiled at them and said, “Good morning,” as I passed by. I got a smile and a good morning, and I noticed their shoulders went back a little when they acknowledged me. They returned to the present moment when I smiled and greeted them. I don’t know what happened after that, as I was walking in the opposite direction, but I hope they felt a little happiness for a bit.

If I hadn’t initiated the hello, I don’t know if I would’ve received one. Very few people made eye contact. Many folks were either on their phones or looking in another direction with little desire for human interaction.

As I paid closer attention to my surroundings throughout my stay, it became apparent that most of us had no desire to engage with anyone. Even little babies! There was a small child, I’m thinking less than two years old, glued to a tablet, playing a game while a sibling slept next to them in one of those fabric wagons. The parents spoke to themselves while waiting in line.

I thought about how I was always interacting with my daughter when she was a baby unless she was sleeping. If I wasn’t speaking sweetly to her, I was touching her. As she grew up and had things to do or toys, she would entertain herself. Reflecting on it, perhaps I spoke too much to her, but I wanted her to be part of what was happening. I don’t think you can talk too much to a baby.

Fear is Learned.

We learn by what we see, hear, and feel.

If we’re taught to fear, we fear. As adults, that fear has had years to become a significant part of our psyche. Parents can mean well by telling their children what to fear, but it ultimately doesn’t serve them well in life. Adult fear appears as anxiety, depression, addictions, rudeness, anger, and apathetic behavior towards others and ourselves.

I noticed this disinterest in greeting one another during my college years. I would walk past many people on the campus sidewalks. Heads were down or focused on a phone. I did the same thing unless someone made eye contact with me and said hello. Why did I do it? Shy. Bashful. I guess. I was not one to call attention to myself.

Why? What’s so wrong about looking people in the eye and acknowledging them, thereby having them acknowledge us?

What’s Going on Now?

To me, now, I want to live in a world where people smile and greet one another with a warm hello.

I got a lot of people to smile and say good morning back at me at the beach. It felt good. I didn’t do it to every person who passed me, just those who looked at me.

Somewhere along the way in our lives, we learned not to pay attention to what’s happening right now. We live in the past or the future, but now, the present moment, sometimes goes unnoticed. When I’m waiting in line or a car, instead of reaching for my phone, I pay attention to my surroundings. I notice expressions on people’s faces. I notice the people whose bodies lean forward as they walk, and wonder if they are even aware of it.

Are We Working on Autopilot?

There have been a few times when I drove miles and wondered, were those lights all green? It’s like when shopping at a familiar grocery store; we can be thinking about a past situation and still get everything on the list because we know where the items are located. We might not have noticed the man with two different shoes or the child holding a flashlight.

If we develop a protective shell to function, we miss out on living in the present. Most of us are unaware of it. I didn’t realize I had been living in the past or the future. The past, which I thought served as a valid excuse to be stuck, was replaying old messages that reinforced wrong beliefs, and the future, where I imagined better days, didn’t allow me to just be still. If I paid attention to what was happening in the present moment, I’d have to do something about it. Comfort zones and excuses kept me stuck, working on autopilot. Living like that does not help us achieve happiness. Just as much as the shell can protect us from pain, it can also prevent us from feeling happy.

Pay More Attention and Change.

We’re all so busy today, and being more mindful and living in the present might seem like a tall order. It’s tough, I know. However, until we pay more attention to what’s truly happening in our lives, things won’t change. Miracles happen when we do the work.

Have you ever thought you couldn’t do something, only to push yourself to do it and then realize afterward that it wasn’t so bad? If we want something to change for the better in our lives, we need to take action steps to make it happen. I was terrified to create a website. I didn’t know where to start. Until I pushed myself to learn how to do it, I was stuck in fear and limited thinking. Now I’m glad I did it.

Live More Fully.

Living more fully means having healthy relationships with ourselves and others. Loving ourselves is necessary to loving others. We can’t give what we don’t have. When we respect ourselves, we teach others to respect us as well. Caring for others is a noble thing, but it should never come at the expense of our happiness. Communicating more clearly what we need or want helps eliminate misunderstandings and prevents anger or resentment.

The love that we give out will come back to us. Don’t stop loving because you got hurt in the past.

To live more fully, we have to pay attention to how we feel and what we think. Following our path is the only way to happiness and fulfillment. It’s hard to do at times, but no matter the interruption, we need to get back on track and never give up on ourselves. This has happened to me many times. Just pick up the pace again and keep going. Eventually, you’ll get where you want to go.

Things That Improve Life:

If you see someone walking past you, look at them and smile. You might make someone’s day.

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes before speaking or acting. Words, once spoken, can sting for a lifetime, and poor actions can leave lasting marks. And ask yourself how you would feel if that were to happen to you.

Think more thoughts of gratitude versus worrying about what you don’t have. When you believe you have enough, it opens the door to many good things. If you’re always thinking thoughts of lack, you’ll get more of that.

Replace worrying with thinking of the best-case scenario. Create the future you want by what you think about.

Don’t take life so seriously. Life situations come and go. No matter what they are, it’s our lives, and we have to pay attention to live them fully and the way we want.

Thank you for reading this. I do hope I’ve given you something good to think about. Please let me know in the comments.

To Paying Attention,

Francesca

Created by a human for humans.