How’s Your Life So Far?
As we age, as I’m finding this out, we can go one of two ways (I’m sure there’s more, but for this post, I’m keeping it at two): we can raise our standards or not.
I’ve raised my standards. I see things I put up with or ignored that are now unacceptable. I realize my worth. I know I deserve better.
These are all good things. However, it can also cause stress and pressure to change your life. It takes work. It takes paying attention more, listening to your intuition, and following it. That’s not always easy.
We’re programmed now to do three things at once. Some of us have been silently conditioned to push ourselves to keep up, have it all, or worry about what others think. That is a recipe for burnout and exhaustion. Take it from me, I know. I’m going through it now.
When I wrote the title for this, I didn’t have it pre-planned; it just came to me when I began to write. I asked myself that question, and this is what came up. (I hope we all ask ourselves this question.)
Being completely honest, I find my life to be good. The reason is, despite everything I’ve been through, I can look at myself in the mirror and smile, loving what I see. I thank God for my good health and the good health of those I love and care about. And I am proud of who I’ve become.
Is my life what I want it to be? Not yet. I’m working on it. I’m putting in the work now that I failed to do before because I didn’t know what to do. Now I know better.
Each of us was exposed to all sorts of things in life, and it has affected us. If our life is not what we want, we have to pay close attention to what we think and say. Whatever we think, we are.
For years, I said things like, “I can’t do math in my head,” or “I don’t have the energy for that,” and other negative thoughts and sayings. And guess what? Our minds give us what we want.
I couldn’t do math in my head, and I felt tired a lot.
Just thinking, I’ll never have that or why does so and so get to have that while I work so hard and can’t afford it. That’s all limited, negative thinking we learned.
To have a good life, we must, and I mean must, acknowledge, challenge, and replace our defeating, negative thoughts.
Aren’t we worth better? Of course, we are!
So, here’s where we start to change our lives into the ones we love.
Take small actions:
All habits can be changed, but it happens over time. Consistent actions daily will change a habit. Some experts say 21 days; others say it takes a month. Whatever the time frame, changing a habit is doable. It was learned; it can be unlearned.
Each day, take one small action towards living the life you want to live to feel happiness, contentment, and peace.
If you want to quit smoking, eliminate one cigarette from your daily routine. If you always have one while on break at work, find something you enjoy doing that reduces stress, like reading or doing a crossword puzzle, and do that instead.
Sure, your body will fight you, but you’re stronger, and after enough time, the synapses in your brain will grow new pathways to reflect your new habit, and eventually you won’t even think about having a cigarette on your break.
Once you get that momentum and feel the difference, you’ll have more control over the other times you smoke.
If you really want to quit, you will.
Realize your actions:
The only way to change is to know something needs to change.
If you’re happy with your life, that’s wonderful. Most of us aren’t. And that’s okay. Most of us weren’t programmed to live perfect, easy, happy-all-the-time lives. Our parents and their parents and so on down the line all struggled somewhat in life and passed those beliefs and thoughts down to us.
We got hammered by teachers with their own problems and agendas who shared the negativity they learned with young minds. We didn’t know better. We listened, absorbed everything, and followed the rules.
Those of us who attended religious services that preached guilt and shame for our sins were taught that we’re flawed just for being born. How were we supposed to know better? Our parents believed the same thing because they were exposed to it too. If they didn’t have other figures in their lives to teach them, yes, Jesus died, but it wasn’t for our sins; it was to show us that being a good human being is the right thing to do, no matter the consequences. Jesus wants us to follow his example of being kind, loving, and decent people and not to sin. But most of us never got those words instilled in us as children, and our parents didn’t either, or else they’d have shared that information with us, right?
Here’s the thing about religion. I’m all for it. I think it gathers people together, keeps a sense of community, and through the word of God we do learn wonderful lessons. However, just going to church does not make you a good person or someone who lives a happy life. Many who don’t attend a physical church service can be incredible spiritual beings, following the doctrine of Jesus or another higher power that offers hope, keys to living a decent life, and a reminder that we are loved and enough.
Just paying attention to our thoughts and actions will show us where we are in life. After that, all we need to do is decide what we want to change.
Choose the best action:
The magic to living a great life is inside each of us. We just need to quiet ourselves for a moment and listen. Too many of us (hand raised here) rush through life. I gotta do this. I have to do that.
For some of us, our mental to-do list is constantly playing like the ads in Times Square, New York City. They never let us go.
I’ve found, for me, “Miss, I want to squeeze in twelve things in the space of five, that having a written list helps me stay focused. I also started timing myself doing things so that I know how long something really takes. My husband has a great sense of timing and has shown me its benefits. We’re not as stressed when we choose better.
Before we say yes or dive into something, let’s take a breath. Allow yourself a few seconds to think. Is this what I really want? I know it’s hard. Believe me. I’ve struggled with this for years, being impulsive and so accommodating to others. That was learned behavior. I was out of the equation when it came to how I wanted my life to go.
The best action in that case is to focus on myself because my happiness, growth, and peace are more important than accommodating someone else just because I want to be nice, not make waves, or, worse, feel obligated or duty-bound to do it. I’m not referring to life-threatening situations. In those cases, you just have to do what needs to be done at the time.
To Conclude:
Figure out what you want your life to look like in five years. Keep that image in your mind. Don’t let your present circumstances filter in any negativity or doubt. Only see in your mind’s eye how you want to be living in five years. Then, all the choices you make from now on will be based on that vision of your ideal life, because you’ll see what needs to change to make it happen.
Thank you for reading this. I hope something resonates with you and you can take something positive out of it. I write them so we can be happy folks.
To your big beautiful life,
Francesca
Written by a human for humans.
© 2026 FrancescaME | All rights reserved.
If not noted otherwise, photos taken by Francesca M.E.
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*DISCLAIMER: FrancescaME is not a therapist or doctor, and any information shared is from personal experience, learning, and research.
If you’re suffering, please consult a mental health therapist for help. Just as our bodies need to see a doctor when we’re not well, our minds need care, too.
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